The sun is back in full force and I'm so glad we missed those dark months. I don't think I can do them anymore. Getting out for at least December and January is necessary for our survival. I'm not sure if we would have all come out alive had we stayed here.
Two months spent in the city has made me realize a few things about myself. I've realized that I don't dig this lifestyle anymore. Pooping outside in the dark at 30 below isn't cool anymore. I miss taking a shower on a fairly regular basis. While I love looking out any window in our home and seeing only forest, I miss people popping in for a visit. I miss being able to walk to a park and see people going about their day. I feel like I gave off-grid, country living a fair chance, and it's just not for me.
We're here for now, though. While we make our future plans, right now we're not going anywhere. So I will continue to poop outside in the dark at 30 below and shower sporadically and have only whiskey jacks for neighbours.
I turn my thoughts to the garden. I watch the boys grow and I wonder about who I really am and the sun rises and sets and it's fine.