Something I am reminded of frequently as I go through my days with a little one is the importance of being flexible. No matter how much planning I might do, no matter how smoothly I may envision something playing out, Aedan invariably has other plans.
We imagine a lovely family portrait lit by the warm rays of the setting sun, but instead, Aedan is crying when we hold him, wanting only to run around on the grass waving a stick.....
I bundle us both up against the cold to take the dogs for a walk on a beautiful, clear afternoon, snuggling him into the pouch of my amauti parka, but for some reason Aedan is terribly uncomfortable on my back, and he cries until I cut the walk short.....
After dinner, I heat kettles of water to give him a nice bedtime bath in front of the wood stove, but after a few minutes in the tub, he begins to cry and lift his arms to me, ready to get out.....
It can be so frustrating to see my plans changed so completely, and at times it's hard not to take it personally. I think I invest so much in the idea of an activity: how nice it will be to walk in the woods, packing my baby on my back, or give him a bath by the wood stove; I forget sometimes that he is developing his own preferences, and right now crying is the only way he has to voice a difference of opinion.
In the moment, trudging through the woods with a screaming baby on my back (or whatever the situation may be), I remind myself to take deep breaths, to have compassion and empathy for what this little person is feeling, to stay in the moment and not lament what could have or should have been. Because it's not always going to be just as I imagine. Aedan is not me, and he lives very much in the moment.
I am learning to let go of all expectations, and just let things unfold as they will. When I do this, I end up experiencing some other beauty or joy that I hadn't planned on.
I never imagined that a baby could teach me so much about life!
My oldest loved the amauti! He never wanted out of it. Then the next boy came along and screamed bloody murder everytime I put him in. I was so sad! He never did take to it.
ReplyDeleteIn summers I always dreamed about nice long walks with both kids in the stroller on the trails around here. Instead, I would strap them in screaming, put my ipod buds into my ears and tune them out and continue my walks! ahahah
Being a parent is always entertaining!
Ha! That's pretty funny!
DeleteDid you put them in snowsuits and then in the amauti, or did you just dress them warm? I'm wondering if it's just too much bundling for him. It's been cold so I've been putting him in a snowsuit.
My amauti was very well lined, so I would put him into a lighter fuzzy one piece suit.
ReplyDeleteHow are you putting his feet in the bottom? Out to the sides so he is on his bum? That is how I did it. But in the Eastern Arctic the kids ride more of a froggie position with their feet under them. I could never get used to that!
I would love to see a picture of you two in the amauti!