Snow!

Over the last few days we've had quite a bit of snow. It's still snowing now as I type this post. It's a grey day, and it's been spent mostly indoors.

Yesterday, though, the snow stopped falling for the afternoon and it was just right for snowshoeing (and later, snow shovelling!)

I packed Aedan into my amauti (no tears this time!), strapped on my snowshoes, and away we went into the woods.

The closest I've got to a full length mirror...












Aedan got to do some exploring on his own!


Funny face!


Hanging with the dogs in the nicely shoveled walkway!

Hope you're enjoying your winter, whatever it may look like!

Learning to Eat Mindfully

I have a confession to make.

I am terrible for wolfing down my food.

Before I've swallowed one bite, I've got the next one ready to go on my fork. Meals that I've spent all afternoon preparing are often gone in 10 minute's time. I go for seconds only to regret it later. I'm sure I am not alone in this; in fact, I think it's something many North Americans are guilty of.

Like with everything these days, I am so aware of those two little brown eyes watching all that I do. I don't want Aedan to approach his food this way. I want him to learn to savour his meals; to approach food with respect and gratitude for where it came from, and for the work that goes into putting it on the table. I want him to listen to his body, and stop eating when he is no longer hungry.

And I want these things for myself, too!

So we've begun an experiment in mindful eating. Normally, our kitchen table is a catch-all for keys, spare change, mail, and little scraps of paper. Before, I would push all this aside to find space for our plates. Now, though, I clear all of this off and set two places for us, with place mats. We light candles (which is so lovely!) and we pause before we begin our meal. I like to take a moment to notice the aromas of the food, how it looks on the plate. We express gratitude for the work that went into the meal, and we might talk about where the food came from. Then, we begin.

After each bite, I set my fork down. I take the time to truly taste what is in my mouth, noticing the subtle flavours and texture. I chew my food thoroughly, pause for a moment, and then take another bite. I'm finding a few things through this way of eating: one, I enjoy my food so much more than before! And two, I feel fuller, sooner. I no longer go back for seconds, because I've thoroughly enjoyed my meal and I've given my stomach time to tell my head that it's had enough!

It feels so good to not only take the time to prepare meals from scratch, but to give them the time and attention they deserve in eating them, too!

Beginning new traditions

Having a little one has me spending lots of time around the holidays thinking about how I want to celebrate. It is my hope to create some new traditions imbued with meaning, ones that Aedan will cherish and carry on. I would like to celebrate in ways that link closely to the rhythm of the seasons, with a focus on the natural world rather than on "things".

I'm sure that one day, Aedan will want to dress up for Halloween, and I look forward to seeing what he dreams up. But for now, I'm trying to start something with a deeper significance. In many cultures around the world, this is a time to remember those who have passed on. It is a time to talk about the dead, to feel their spirits gathered close around us. It also marks the end of the old year: the harvest is in, the work of preserving it is over, and the fields lie fallow.

Here in the Yukon, the ground has been frozen for weeks and the rivers are not far behind. Each day is noticeably shorter than the last. We are headed in to a dark time, a time to snuggle in close to the fire, to dream of what's to come with the return of the sun at the Winter Solstice. It feels important to me to begin to mark these special days in some way: a measure of the seasons.

So on the 31st, at sunset, I lit a few candles around some photos of loved ones we wished to remember. I prepared a feast for dinner: roasted moose, mashed potatoes, Brussels sprouts and zucchini patties (by special request). Today, Aedan and I will make our way down to the clearing where we buried Patsy, my cat who passed last spring, to pour some spring water over her grave. It feels so good to be making some new traditions, and I look forward to how they grow and change as my family does the same.

Halloween, Dia de los Muertos, Samhain or All Souls Day...what traditions does your family have to celebrate this time of year?

Lessons

Something I am reminded of frequently as I go through my days with a little one is the importance of being flexible. No matter how much planning I might do, no matter how smoothly I may envision something playing out, Aedan invariably has other plans.

We imagine a lovely family portrait lit by the warm rays of the setting sun, but instead, Aedan is crying when we hold him, wanting only to run around on the grass waving a stick.....

I bundle us both up against the cold to take the dogs for a walk on a beautiful, clear afternoon, snuggling him into the pouch of my amauti parka, but for some reason Aedan is terribly uncomfortable on my back, and he cries until I cut the walk short.....

After dinner, I heat kettles of water to give him a nice bedtime bath in front of the wood stove, but after a few minutes in the tub, he begins to cry and lift his arms to me, ready to get out.....

It can be so frustrating to see my plans changed so completely, and at times it's hard not to take it personally.  I think I invest so much in the idea of an activity: how nice it will be to walk in the woods, packing my baby on my back, or give him a bath by the wood stove; I forget sometimes that he is developing his own preferences, and right now crying is the only way he has to voice a difference of opinion.

In the moment, trudging through the woods with a screaming baby on my back (or whatever the situation may be), I remind myself to take deep breaths, to have compassion and empathy for what this little person is feeling, to stay in the moment and not lament what could have or should have been. Because it's not always going to be just as I imagine. Aedan is not me, and he lives very much in the moment. 

I am learning to let go of all expectations, and just let things unfold as they will. When I do this, I end up experiencing some other beauty or joy that I hadn't planned on. 

I never imagined that a baby could teach me so much about life!

All about Aedan

On our way to Ontario, we had a stopover in Vancouver, to check in with our "team" at the B.C. Women and Children's hospital. 

The appointment went really well: Aedan's A1C (a blood test that shows a 90-day average blood/glucose reading) puts him in a non-diabetic range. This means that his blood sugar is very well controlled with the 5 mg dose of Glyburide. If we continue to maintain these levels, his chances of suffering the long-term effects of diabetes are basically the same as a non-diabetic. 

He still has high readings in the mornings, though, often followed by a crash 2 hours after he takes his pill. We decided to try splitting his dosage up into 3 times a day: a 1/2 pill with breakfast, 3/4 mid-afternoon, and 3/4 before bed. Today is day 3 of this new routine: Aedan adapts so easily, but of course it's taking me some getting used to. 

It means if we're going out in the afternoon, I have to have a syringe with the dissolved pill prepared with me, plus a snack to go along with it. The morning and evening doses have been tricky, too, because he still hasn't gotten back onto a normal sleep schedule, after our travels.

I'm grateful, though, every day, that it's only this we have to deal with. In comparison to what other families go through, it seems incredibly easy. We're lucky that his particular form of diabetes is recognized and easily managed.

While we're on the topic of Aedan...he's learning so much every day! It is such a joy to be able to facilitate that learning, and to watch him practice new skills.

I mentioned in this post that he enjoys "putting" things...well, his putting has gotten quite refined just lately! He's begun to stack blocks (rather than just knocking them down), and he enjoys playing with a set of nesting cups. He's also learned to fit objects onto a peg, like these wooden rings. 

In the last 2 days, I've noticed him walking backwards: this he does (slowly and carefully) with a huge grin on his face. He's quite the stair climber, too!

Lastly, his signing just blows me away. He signs for milk and more....he uses more as a general purpose "I want" sign: he'll sign "more" and then point to something he desires. He also signs "dog", by patting his chest. It should be his leg he's patting. I read that it's common for babies to learn this sign by patting a different part of the body at first. He also signs for books. Now we're working on "hot", "eat", "drink", and "outside". 

He's also picked up a hilarious shrug from me, when something or someone disappears.

A parcel with his winter gear has arrived at the post office: we're off to town to pick it up today. I can't wait to watch him play in the snow!

Home

Phew! We've just returned from 3 weeks of visiting family in Ontario, with a side trip to Vancouver, British Columbia, to visit with Aedan's doctors. I love love living in the Yukon, but getting in and out of this territory is a real ordeal!

But I will never complain about a chance to visit family.

It does my heart good to see Aedan playing with his grandparents, his aunties and uncles and cousins.
It does my body good to have a break from my own housework.
And it does my tummy good to savour the variety of foods we lack here in the North.

But it is always so good to finally come home! My feet were tired of walking on pavement, my eyes were tired of looking at endless tall buildings, and my ears were tired of the constant hum of a busy city.

It's lovely to look out the window and see only trees! Granted, the trees are now bare of leaves and covered in snow (whereas in Ontario, they were just beginning to burst into radiant autumn colour).

I missed the steady warmth of the wood stove, and the smell of baking bread. I missed the mountains and the quiet and even the cold!

And of course, I missed this blog, too! It's good to be back. I have lots of catching up to do!

Love letters from Toronto

Dear Blog,

I miss you terribly!

We are visiting family in Ontario right now. We'll be home in a week. I look forward to catching up with you then!

Love,

Bush Mama (in the big city)

xo