Big Things, Little Things

I've held off on writing this post because I wanted to be sure it was for real. But now, it's pretty close to being real, so here goes...

We're moving to Ontario. I think it's pretty obvious to my readers that I very much want to live closer to my family, and we've decided to make that happen. Having the support of my parents, my sister, my extended family and P's family is so important, especially with this 3rd baby coming. I struggled hard after Colm was born. Reading back over my private journal from the last year, I was barely keeping it together. Things will (hopefully) be so much easier after this babe is born. 

We've been staying at my parents since November, with the exception of two weeks in Costa Rica and a little time with P's family here and there. I'm so grateful to my mom and dad for welcoming us into their home and letting us disrupt their lives. We've got another month and a half here and then we should be moving into our own house not far away. 

It's been stressful, trying to pull this mortgage together. I'm into the last trimester of my pregnancy and the exhaustion is suddenly hitting me hard. The cold weather has kept us all a bit housebound, which is not fun with an energetic 3 year old. But soon the sun will warm the air, the snow will melt...we'll be into a new house, this baby will be born, and we'll be launched into the next chapter of this life.

I've decided to put Up the Dempster to bed. I'm working on a new blog layout, and I will post a link to it here once I've started posting there. I hope you'll follow me there, where I'll write honestly about family life and mothering and maybe eventually some travel...but if you don't, I understand. The Yukon has been a huge part of my life for the last decade, and I know we're not done with it yet (we do still have a business to run there, after all) but it will be a much smaller part of things for the time being. 

So, there you have it. Doing the thing I said I'd never do...moving back to southwestern Ontario!

Brothers

Something I've really been enjoying lately is watching the connection grow between Aedan and Colm. They just love each other so completely, without reserve or qualification. Though Aedan can sometimes get a bit carried away, he's generally full of kisses and pats. He'll tell Colm when he's getting into something he shouldn't ("No, Collie! Get out of there!") or offer random toys to him. He just can't wait for Colm to wake up in the mornings, and usually speeds the process along by climbing over me and bestowing kisses all over Colm's face and arms. And then sounds really surprised when he wakes up. "Oh! I think he's waking up now!" It's so sweet.

Colm clearly loves his big brother, too. He can dissolve into a fit of giggles just by looking at Aedan. He crawls after him where ever he goes, and lately I've noticed him trying to do what Aedan does. We were at the pond the other day, Aedan throwing rocks (of course) and I watched Colm edge as close as he could get to the water, pick up a little rock, and drop it in. He did this multiple times, watching his brother carefully. I've noticed him do the same with sticks, at the river. He also tries to stand up on the arm of the couch, and launch over the back of the loveseat beside it, something Aedan does a million times a day. I'm beginning to realize that I'm going to have to watch this little one very carefully!

Parenting two kids is often exhausting. I have little time for myself (which is partly my own fault, I'm terrible at making time for myself, but that's another post.)  Watching these two grow together, though, is immensely rewarding. I wonder if they'll make up their own secret language, hiding out in a fort in the woods around our house. I picture them wrestling on the living room floor, or skipping stones at the river. I see so many shared adventures ahead of them, and I hope they'll always be friends.

Happy birthday, Hunter-bear!

My nephew celebrates his first birthday today! It's hard to believe that a year has passed already. I am so grateful that I was there when he was born, and that I've been able to spend some time with him over the last year!

Little Hunter-bear, I love the funny faces you make. I love your big brown eyes and your soft hair.

You'd just started walking when I saw you in June, and I imagine now your mom and dad can hardly keep up. You are curious and easy-going and you love love love the water!

I'm so excited for all this next year holds for you. Love you little bear!

All's well that ends well.

Yesterday was not a great day. I was tired, and Aedan was trying, so there was a lot of yelling and more than a few bouts of tears. This whole "terrible twos" business is terribly misleading...all of toddlerhood seems to be full of frustration and flexing of wills and also wonderful, burgeoning independence and personality. Aedan is almost three, and I'm beginning to suspect that things aren't going to magically change at the stroke of midnight on his birthday.

I guess it's me who must change, become even more patient and understanding. 

But I digress. Yesterday I was neither patient nor understanding. And then P got home from work and he wasn't much better. When bedtime (finally, thankfully) rolled around, Aedan said he wanted to sleep with Daddy. So P came up to bed with us.

I lay on my side in our bed with Colm, nursing him to sleep, drifting myself in that in-between place, while P snuggled Aedan up. After a few minutes, Aedan asked, in his tiny voice: "Want Daddy to sing to you?"

"Okay," P replied. And softly, he began, "Come and listen to a story 'bout a man named Jed."

I perked up a little.

"A poor mountaineer barely kept his family fed.
And then one day out shooting some food,
up from the ground came a bubbling crude."

Fully awake now, I joined in:

"Oil, that is. Black gold. Texas tea."

(is this familiar to you, too?)

Then we started laughing, and Aedan thought it was time to get up and play. We settled him back down, and P finished singing him the theme song from The Beverley Hillbillies ("it's the only song I can think of!" he told me) and we all drifted off to sleep, the day's hurts forgotten.

These Days

If I actually sat down and wrote all of the blog posts that occurred to me, well, I guess I'd have a more active blog! Instead, I tend to pass out at 8 every night, wedged between a baby and a toddler. It's a thrilling existence, let me tell ya.

We've been having beautiful weather these past few weeks. It's still cold at night, -25 or so, but it warms up with the sun. It's usually around 0 by mid afternoon. We get outside then to soak up the day. The snow has come off  the roof completely in some places, and is taking its time in others. This past week I've noticed little flocks of snow buntings at the roadsides...they usually pass through this time of year. I've even seen the catkins beginning to grow on the willows! I'm hoping this gradual spring continues, because I'm really loving it.

We've been dealing with a very itchy-headed baby lately, and it's been at its worst this week. The doctor's keep calling it cradle cap, but I'm convinced it's eczema. The skin became infected, and after trying a few home remedies, I caved and Colm is now on a course of antibiotics. The infected skin is looking much better, but his head is still red, rashy, dry and itchy. I hope once winter passes and the woodstoves burn out for the last time, it will clear. It's hard for me to take pictures of Colm, but I don't want to miss documenting this time in his life, so I force myself to do it. Looking through photos from Ontario to now, I can really see it progressing. I hope we're on the downside!

Aside from itching a lot, Colm has started rolling over! He's also begun to babble, and he's just the cutest thing since Aedan! I love this rollie-pollie, pudgy-baby, not-yet-mobile stage!

Aedan is a real challenge. He "helps" me a lot, which is cute. But he's so physical. When he gets excited at our playgroup, he'll push kids down, hit them in the face, pull hair...the other moms reassure me it's developmentally normal,and I know it is, but it's hard to parent him right now. We're working on showing him appropriate ways to play. I try to focus on his sweeter times, when he's giving kisses or hugs or snuggling up to me in bed (though that last also drives me crazy!) I'm eager for this phase to pass.

Aedan and his whale "helping" me do dishes. 

Today

Today began in darkness, as every day does. We sat in our usual places in the living room, and we poured out our misery like the morning coffee. "I'm not having any fun."  "I feel so overwhelmed."  "I wish we were somewhere else." 

And then, as the sun rose, the bad moods lifted. It's amazing how the simple act of giving voice to our unhappiness can dispel it. 

"Lily!!"

I got a pot of roasted butternut squash soup simmering on the stove. I managed to get myself and the little ones outside for a half hour, and then back in for hot chocolate and lunch. Then it was nap time and a good phone call to my mom. P got home from doing some work in the office, and we all went outside again, this time to burn some brush.

We had the soup for dinner, and then the boys each had a bath, with only minimal crying from Aedan. He went to sleep easily, as he has been lately, and Colm is asleep now in my lap as I type this. The candles have all burned down, there is jazz and Tim Tam on the CBC. I'll tuck this day away in my back pocket, and remember it on a day that doesn't feel so smooth and rhythmic....

But I hope they become more like this!

Hitting Stride

These days, I feel like we're starting to hit our stride.

Or at least, I don't feel like we're stumbling on a daily basis.

Our days are taking shape. We are finding a new rhythm. We begin in darkness, somewhere between 5:30 and 6 am. The grown-ups have coffee and tea, the littles have mama's milk and snuggles. Aedan plays some games on the iPad, or watches a video of humpback whales or diggers (depending on his mood). P makes us breakfast and does the dishes, and then he gets to work on plumbing or dog walking or wood cutting while I nurse babies, do puzzles, read books, play sea creatures or trucks or blocks. At some point, there is a bit of a struggle over nursing, but I try to set some limits with Aedan for my own sanity. I've also been trying to get Aedan into some undirected "arting". We've tried finger painting, play dough and stickers. He does not like sticky things on his fingers. It really puts a damper on most of the fun things for toddlers to do. 

Today, I got him painting with a toothbrush for a few minutes. 

He kept trying to brush his teeth with the paint. (Don't worry, it's made of powdered beets and water). 

 Aedan naps in the early afternoon, sometimes for three hours. I try really hard to nap, too, but I've never been a good napper. Instead, I read or surf the net (come 4 pm, though, I really regret that decision). When Aedan wakes up, I try to get us all outside for awhile, but lately he's been fighting me on that one. I'm usually too tired to press the issue, but if P is home I'll take the extra help to get us all out the door for an hour or so. I need it as much as Aedan does! Dinner has been uneventful. It's food in our bellies. I miss cooking. Bedtime is around 8, because I usually can't keep my eyes open any more. The nights are going okay, Colm doesn't wake often but you can bet that when he does, Aedan does, too. So I'm doing double duty at night, too. I really hated that in the beginning, but it's getting better.

The days sort of blend together. They are at once eventful and incredibly boring. Some days I want so much more. Or I want an hour of not being touched by little hands. But these things aren't possible right now, so instead, when it gets to be too much, I let myself think of the future, when my two boys are playing together happily and I am sitting on the couch knitting or in a room of my own studying some distance course or writing. 

Two

 

As I type this (one-handed) Paul and Aedan are upstairs napping; Colm is asleep in my lap, and I am left with some quiet time to reflect, to gather my thoughts. It feels a bit like that scene in the movie "Twister", where Helen Hunt and Bill Pulman belt themselves to a water pipe rising out of the ground, to anchor themselves as the tornado roars around them.

I am holding on for dear life.

Two is intense. I don't think anyone could have prepared me for it. In fact, I don't recall trying to prepare myself for it. I suppose, deep down, I knew that was an impossible task. 

Aedan is generally being wonderful. I try my very best to give him as much attention as I can spare, while taking fleeting glimpses of the new babe, taking deep breathes of his new-baby scent before diving back in to an ever-changing sea of toddler needs. 

Aedan loves to share his toys with his brother.

I am so grateful that Colm is, so far, an easy baby. He nurses a whole lot, and sleeps a whole lot more.  My love for him has been slow to grow, but my heart is pretty much bursting with it now. I try to savour every little bit of him, every little newborn moment, because he'll likely be my last. I fear for him like I never did for Aedan, not until the diabetes diagnosis, that is. I think it's because of that that I harbour so many secret worries. But Colm seems healthy and content. I tested his blood sugar while the midwife was here, and it was within a normal range. I smell his breath often for keytones, and wonder if he pees too much. I tell myself, as often as possible, "He's fine."

It's not just two to entertain, two to lull to sleep, two bums to wipe, two to love. It's two to nurse, too. I had planned all along to continue nursing Aedan alongside Colm, and I think it's part of the reason that Aedan is adjusting so well, but wow. It is hard. My feelings about my nursing relationship with Aedan change from session to session, oscillating from gratitude to exasperation. He's not ready to wean, though, and I want to keep going. I just need to find some mom-support, another tandem nurser to talk to. 

And what about the two of us, the two adults in all of this? We cling to one another when we can. We try to help one another. I feel like I'm taking so much right now, but that's because I'm giving so much, elsewhere. 

Two is beautiful and frightening and overwhelming in every way. 

Back

Just a quick note to say that I'm reviving my blog. I'd set it to private over the summer, and have decided to keep it that way, with permission given to family and close friends to read. If you've already got a Gmail account, you just have to log in to view posts. If you don't have a Gmail account, you'll be sent a guest invitation. I'll have to resend it every 30 days, though, so if you'd like to read, it would be easiest for me if you just created an account!

Birth story and baby pictures coming soon!

Gramma and Grampa's Visit

The last 10 days have been full of time spent with my parents, and it's been simply wonderful. We're so lucky that even with the distance between us, we're able to get together several times a year. Last summer, my parents bought a camper in Whitehorse, and we parked it on our property, so they have somewhere to stay when they come visit (our home is too small to be comfortable with 4 adults!) Lots of time was spent playing with Aedan, chasing him around the yard, or taking him to the park or the river in town. P and my dad got a lot of work done on an addition we're putting on our home, which will include lots more storage for us and a big water tank, too! I was able to put in two more raised beds, both planted with a green manure crop of red clover.

A full moon summer solstice passed while they were here, and it brought with it a week of very hot, dry weather. The still air was heavy with the scent of distant forest fires, and the hills were hazed over with the smoke. The highest I noted the thermometer hit was 38 C mid-afternoon. That is just craziness! I was quite ill one day, I'm not sure why (my best guess is a sudden food sensitivity, brought on by pregnancy), and was SO thankful to have 3 other adults here to mind Aedan. I spent an afternoon on the sofa, reading and napping and drinking lots of water and chamomile tea! It was strange to be still like that, but a nice reminder of how important it is to take care of oneself when it's needed.

My parents left on a rainy day, and we were all left a little at odds without them around. Life is getting back to normal now, though. We are finding our rhythm once again (slightly shifted, as I've finally got Aedan onto an afternoon-nap schedule!) I'm looking forward to our visit to Ontario in August. It's such a delight to see Aedan with his grandparents!

A little bit of everything

I've been away from this space for what feels like a long time. That's because I've been enjoying every minute of sunshine and warmth we've had since we shook off the last of winter's snow. And being this close to the summer solstice in the North, that's a lot of minutes of sunshine!

Since the river broke on May 15th, we've had some very high waters. Our friends in the Rock Creek community have all had to evacuate their homes as the waters rose into their yards and swirled around their houses. Along the roadsides, many of the ditches ran high with water; in some places, it came level with the highway. Even in town, people talked of the possibility of flood (though it was just talk). The ferry landing was underwater, the walking paths by the river were all washed out. Huge trees can still be seen sweeping along in the currents: it is a dangerous time to be on the river. Most of the snow seems to have melted off the hillsides, though, and the water levels have dropped off significantly.

The leaves have all popped, and the wildflowers are budding and blooming. Purple spikes of lupine flash among the green and along the roadsides. The Jacob's ladder has just begun to open its little purple-blue flowers, and the bearberry is hung with tiny, pink bell shaped fairy-flowers. The labrador tea looks to flower soon, as do the bluebells. Our little hillside in front of the house will be covered in fireweed again this year, too!

We've been passing our time outside, trying to clean up the yard bit by bit, raking and burning brush. The area we cleared for the garden last fall is a mess of rocks and chewed up trees, it is incredibly overwhelming but I've been managing it by cleaning it up in sections. I hope to put in another 4 raised beds soon, and plant them with a green manure crop of red clover. It's hard to get much done with a toddler, though! He needs to be watched carefully with the dogs, as his gentle pats can often quickly turn to grabbing handfuls of hair and jowl and yanking with all his strength! I often spend a good part of the day just wandering around the property behind Aedan, helping him jump over logs, watching him explore the world. No complaints there!

I've been taking him to the pool regularly, too, and I'm happy to report that he's loving the water this year. The other day P and I were there together with him, and we got him to put his face in the water and blow some bubbles! Shortly after that, he lost his footing and dunked right under. He was on the verge of losing it, but we acted like it was no big deal and he decided it must not have been.

Sunday we're heading to Whitehorse for another midwife appointment. I'm finally showing a respectable baby-belly, and the little one is making their presence well known with kicks and pokes!

The other little one is waking from his nap...I'll try to post some photos later.

Just curious...

I originally started this blog to let my family back in Ontario know what was happening in my life. For a long time, I thought it was only my mom reading! But I wonder if there are more of you following along?

If you're family and you read regularly, please leave a comment here and let me know!

18 month old baby

Well, okay, he's actually closer to 19 months old by now. I've been meaning to make this post for a while! And I suppose he isn't really much of a baby these days. No, Aedan has fully embraced toddlerhood!

What is he up to these days? He TALKS! Wow does he ever. When he's awake, he keeps up an almost constant stream of babble, with about 20 recognizable words thrown into the mix. It amazes us how quickly he can pick up a new word; we go through periods where it seems like he learns a new word every day! Some of his words are: gah-gah (dog), ball, apple, date, wah-wah (water), bird, ice, and heavy. I think that last one is kinda funny, he usually says it when he picks up a big book or a wooden toy my dad made for him. Oh, and let's not forget "mama" and "dada"!

Aedan expresses himself in many ways. He still signs regularly, though I've slacked on teaching him new signs. But he still uses dog, milk and outside on a daily basis.

He's also become quite adept at expressing his frustration (much to our frustration!). I suppose toddlers are tempestuous creatures, and Aedan is no different. He'll be happily playing along and suddenly burst into tears because something hasn't gone right. He cries when he's getting tired (but he also signs that he's getting tired), he cries when he's getting hungry (I'm learning to anticipate his meal times), he cries when he can't get his way.

We must keep reminding ourselves: babies are not manipulative! It must be so hard to go through your day having a good 90% of your efforts frustrated. Although, he's getting better and better at most things he likes to do!

Aedan loves stacking his blocks, whereas before he only loved knocking down the towers that Mama made. He can build them up quite high, though, and he likes to add non-block things into the mix, trying everything from bits of fluff, to bottle caps to a ball.

And speaking of balls, he loves those, too! His throws were pretty random and uncontrolled until recently, but now he's really good at throwing in one direction (straight ahead!) and he's a bit obsessed with having two at a time. Maybe he'll be a juggler!

He also loves to climb: furniture, Mama, stairs, whatever (or whomever!) he can get his hands and feet gripped onto. He seems like a bit of a daredevil to me, but what do I know about toddlers? Maybe they're all like that.

He loves to play outside, too. I still walk the trails with him on my back, but lately I'll let him down for the homestretch. He can walk a good distance, and likes to chase the doggies. He also loves being pulled up and down the lane in his little sled. This summer should be interesting...we need to get a fence up around the yard!

Aedan is still nursing, but I feel like my supply has really dropped off recently. In response, his appetite for solid food has grown immensely! He polishes off some pretty impressive plates of food, eating pretty much everything we do. He loves fruit (grapes being a favourite lately), dates, oatmeal, tofu, beans, broccoli...anything we put his way. It's wonderful! I feel like we're establishing a really healthy food-foundation for him. It's a lot of time spent in the kitchen, but I'm so glad I've committed to cooking almost all of our food from scratch, and keeping only nutritious, wholesome foods in the house.

Life with a toddler is exhausting, challenging, and joy-filled. I learn so much about human development, and Mama-development, every day!

Finally...Nicaragua!

Granada was gorgeous, beautifully restored colonial buildings: 

Granada had lots of really unique, colourful doors!

Isla de Ometepe was calm and quiet after the bustle of Granada. It was a bit buggy, but had lots of natural beauty to fill our days!

Volcan Concepcion

Ranchers would bring their livestock down to the lake each day for a dip!

Volcan Madera

San Juan del Sur was the ocean...and not finding quite what we wanted. Still...there were flowers and ice cream and sunsets!

We learned so much about what we want from a vacation, and about travelling with a toddler. Last year, in Belize, we stayed in one spot. We found that got a bit tiresome after 2 weeks...this year, we visited 3 different places over the course of about 2 and a half weeks. We found this to be a bit too much travelling. Aedan was a real trooper, but each move meant resettling of nap times, getting comfy in new surroundings, finding kid-friendly places to play...we're getting closer to finding what we want, closer to the perfect vacation. Learning about yourself, what you're capable of and what you're not capable of, is definitely one of the most exciting parts about travel!

P.S. In case you were wondering...I kept up with my photo-a-day challenge all through Nicaragua...and lost it while visiting family in Ontario. Maybe next year!

Suprise!

Oh my, I didn't expect it to take me this long to make it back to this space! Nicaragua seems so long ago now, and I promise I'll get some pictures up soon. The days following our return from vacation have been a bit hectic, to say the least...

We've been preparing for our wedding!

On March 14th, we drove out to Tombstone Park with a couple of witnesses, our friend who is a marriage commissioner, my parents, sister and brother-in-law, and we got hitched!

We've been talking about doing this for awhile now, and we picked this particular day because it kicks off the Spring carnival weekend in Dawson. We thought that if any family made it up, it would be a really fun time for them to be in town. And it was! We spent a busy week cleaning the house and yard up, getting ready to hold the casual reception here. We kept things small and fairly private, as that is the kind of people we are (well, except for sharing my life on a blog. Heh heh!)

An hour before we left the house, we picked out a few readings from a selection our friend the marriage commissioner had in her arsenal, and pocketed our own written vows and our wedding bands. It was a gorgeous day, clear and sunny. After driving along the Dempster for awhile, we pulled into a runaway lane a couple kilometers past the Tombstone Interpretive Center, with a beautiful view of the snow-covered mountains. We built a little fire, and as we gathered in a loose circle around it, the wind died and we began. It was short and sweet and heartfelt, and seemed so right for us. Aedan slept through the whole thing on my back, but we were happy that he was "there", and not just back in the truck sleeping (or crying or running around).

Back at our house, we signed the papers and it was officially official. We had a friend cooking for us, pulled pork and baked beans and roasted veggies and potatoes and coleslaw and 3 different desserts. More friends joined us for a bonfire. Aedan had a blast running around the yard with his friend Emery and pretending to drink beer.

It was a beautiful day, a beautiful evening, and we are so grateful to everyone who helped make it special. I never thought I'd get married, but all of a sudden it felt like exactly the thing I wanted to do. So there ya go. I'm a Mrs. Bush Mama now!

On Being Present

I didn't realize how much work it is just to be present with a little one, or to be present in my days generally, I suppose. To me this means being in the moment, fully committed to what is happening in that moment. Whether it's reading "Brown Bear Brown Bear" for the 10th time in a row, or making toast, or washing the dishes or calming a fussy baby, it takes some effort to keep my mind focused on the task at hand.

Especially when it comes to Aedan, I want to try harder to stay present. I don't want to get into the habit of just checking out: it's a real challenge! I also don't want to be micromanaging his play. I recognize that he is capable of amusing himself, and if he's in that mode, I'm happy to pick up a book or some knitting or get busy in the kitchen. But when he starts throwing the books at me, or pushing me away from the kitchen counter, I try to listen to what he's telling me. 

My biggest problem day to day is internet usage. I find myself drifting towards the computer, often checking out mentally as a I scroll through my Facebook news feed. I'll pull Aedan into my lap if he wants me, and I want to break that habit. He's too young to be learning to stare at a screen (a screen that invariably is full of advertisements of one kind or another). In an attempt to curb my Face-time, I've set it up to be way less interesting, but the habit persists. 

I've decided I want to limit my internet time to when Aedan is sleeping. I think it is my number one time wasting, mindfulness-sabotaging tool...it's going to be tough. I tell myself that I keep Facebook open all day because the chat is like my telephone. But if I'm honest about it, it's not like anyone is "calling". And I do have Skype for that. Some days I feel I'm not much different from the person with the smartphone glued to her hand, constantly checking for updates. And I don't want to be that person.

How do you stay present with your kids? How do you manage your internet time (or do you?)

Lessons

Something I am reminded of frequently as I go through my days with a little one is the importance of being flexible. No matter how much planning I might do, no matter how smoothly I may envision something playing out, Aedan invariably has other plans.

We imagine a lovely family portrait lit by the warm rays of the setting sun, but instead, Aedan is crying when we hold him, wanting only to run around on the grass waving a stick.....

I bundle us both up against the cold to take the dogs for a walk on a beautiful, clear afternoon, snuggling him into the pouch of my amauti parka, but for some reason Aedan is terribly uncomfortable on my back, and he cries until I cut the walk short.....

After dinner, I heat kettles of water to give him a nice bedtime bath in front of the wood stove, but after a few minutes in the tub, he begins to cry and lift his arms to me, ready to get out.....

It can be so frustrating to see my plans changed so completely, and at times it's hard not to take it personally.  I think I invest so much in the idea of an activity: how nice it will be to walk in the woods, packing my baby on my back, or give him a bath by the wood stove; I forget sometimes that he is developing his own preferences, and right now crying is the only way he has to voice a difference of opinion.

In the moment, trudging through the woods with a screaming baby on my back (or whatever the situation may be), I remind myself to take deep breaths, to have compassion and empathy for what this little person is feeling, to stay in the moment and not lament what could have or should have been. Because it's not always going to be just as I imagine. Aedan is not me, and he lives very much in the moment. 

I am learning to let go of all expectations, and just let things unfold as they will. When I do this, I end up experiencing some other beauty or joy that I hadn't planned on. 

I never imagined that a baby could teach me so much about life!